26 October 2020

Midway – the movie. So many questions

The battle of Midway itself was an amazing victory for the US in World War II. Many believe that it was a definitive turning point: most certainly in the battle of the pacific, and most probably in the overall war effort, as it was this battle that definitively halted the Japanese advance. It was such an interesting battle (and lead up to it), that you’d think it would have all the elements to make an excellent movie.

However, that didn’t quite happen. I’m not going to go into a detailed analysis of this movie, because I’m not a movie critic, but I have some fundamental questions and points I felt it imperative to bring up about this movie.

  1. Woody Harrelson was well cast as Admiral Nimitz. Truly. Why didn’t they give him more to do? Basically, in this movie, he’s a dude smart enough to listen to the dude that works for him. Which, ok, but, isn’t being an admiral a bit more than that? What about all the politics?
  2. So many thin moustaches. Why were there so many bad moustaches? Was this the uniform in 1941-42? I need to understand more about these terrible facial afflictions.
  3. I get that Jonas brother wants to be an actor. Why not? Maybe he’s even good at it. The problem is, when you see him, all you see is a Jonas brother with a bad moustache. Refer to point 2 for further questioning on this issue.
  4. Why must all the men have deep raspy voices? YOU ARE NOT BATMAN. BATMAN DID NOT FIGHT IN WORLD WAR II. HE DID NOT FLY A DIVE BOMBER – though I have no doubt that he’d have been very good at it. The only male that gets away with it in any movie is Christian Bale as Batman. Even the Batfleck failed. Learn your lesson actors and directors. Just stop.
  5. Why do none of the characters have any personality? This is based on real people, who I think probably had a ton of personality, definitely strength and courage. This did not come out here. This was just a bunch of macho one-liners that made no sense, with some attempts and smouldering glares. Everyone in this movie was a 2D nightmare, with little to no understanding of who they were or what drove them.
  6. The women had no use in this movie at all. They were clearly there as the movie makers didn’t want to have an all male movie, but what’s the point of having women in a movie that just worry about their husbands and have cone boobs? Also, why the cone boobs? Mandy Moore deserves better #justiceformandy
  7. What’s with the giant rings? Do all men in the navy wear giant rings? Is this some kind of tradition?
  8. Someone needs to explain the gum to me. Why would they be chewing gum like an idiot? And showing this to the audience, repeatedly? Is it supposed to tell me something important to see the pilot take out his gum and stick it to his control panel other than the fact that it was stupid for him to be chewing gum in the first place?
  9. I remain very disturbed by the moustaches. Refer to point 2
  10. The dialogue was bad. Just so bad. Just don’t. Please. Just don’t. Thank you.

Image Credit: IMDb